Thursday, March 18, 2010

My bungalow oasis... aka where I live... and my neighbors.. hmmm.


I love my little 1920's bungalow near the beach.  I have a patio and a garden filled with tropical foliage, lavender, rosemary, mint, and I'm planning on planting some more herbs I can use for cooking...  Upon entry, you see a long walkway through a jungle of plants, trees and flowers... A little zen-like oasis in the heart of a bustling beach town.  And cats. Lots of cats... it's like a gang.  Every time I walk in I'm greeted by them and give them belly rubs to win them over.  Ahh it's wonderful.

But I digress.  This post isn't about how wonderful my home is... it's about the surrounding neighbors that freak my shit out.  I still love them, but damn, sometimes ya'll are scary.

The secret service came to arrest one of my neighbor for 'subversive activities.'  Uhhh... what?  What the hell?!  First off, I do NOT want any government officials skulking around my bungalow.  I read the book, "1984" and I know how that shit goes down.  Secondly, I had to get to the bottom of what the hell happened.  Nothing dramatic... just a man practicing his right to freedom of speech.  But in a post-911 society, freedom of speech means something very different now.  Post a few letters online about certain 'officials' kicking the bucket, and you can be sure you will go to jail.  Very scary.  Hmm... I guess that also applies to blogs.  Welcome to my censored blog.

Another neighbor has finally given up on trying to convert me to Buddhism.  Don't get me wrong... I have much respect for people who are religious, but please don't try to convert me.  I already dealt with the crazy born-again Christians growing up in school, so if you try to shove any of that crap down my throat, expect that I will throw up on you.  Just sayin.

Then there's the goth.  I always know when her laundry is in the machine.  Black.  But she's alright in my book.  The only scariness is the life-sized mannequin dressed as a vampire in the living room... every time I walk by I'm psyched out.  Gets me every time.  It's almost like Halloween every day...  oh and Halloween with the neighbors at the bungalow oasis is another blog post for the future. Note to self.

Another neighbor is a nice guy. Actor.  (As it turns out 'actor' in soft-core porn... that's a recent discovery for me).  The day I moved in, he introduced himself and said, "I'm a freelance gynecologist, so if you ever need a checkup..."  Hmm gee yes, I will be suuuuuure to take you up on that.

My closest neighbor is an avid Burner.  She's a little fairy who carries glitter in her pocket and fire dances on her roof at 4am, and doesn't sleep a lot.  We were hangin out once and I mentioned that I need to go buy some quartz crystals to maintain the positive vibes in my apartment, and she reaches into her pocket and pulls out a huge quartz.... I'm like, "you just happen to have that on you?" Amazing.

As eccentric as my neighbors are, I'm there too, so what the hell does that make me?  No judgement here... I only state the facts.  Maybe they think I'm the weird one because I have an indoor cat and frequent 'sleepovers.'  Who knows.

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