If you take drugs, you will, like, TOTALLY get this, man.

Insane Double Rainbow Guy - watch more funny videos

Daaamn girl, YOU GOT BALLS. Now have a little respect you effing loser.

Full story here:

Criggity-craaazy. In our society today where Big Brother is always watching?! Really Lindsay? Really?! That was a dumb move and totally ballsy. All I have to say is good luck in prison... chicks really have balls up in dat. They might be made of Elastomer and attached with a belt, but shit girl, they gonna be clappin you in the clink! HAHAHAHAH. I crack myself up.

Remember the horror movie "With Teeth?" Well it is now a reality.

Story from cnn.com
It's true.  Your vagina can have teeth.  The best part is that it's like a Chinese finger trap for a penis - once it goes in, it doesn't come out.  It's painful and the raper has to go to the ER to remove it. YES! Embarrassment AND conviction of rape all wrapped into one.

The only scary part is the chicks that will use this as a weapon instead of for protection.  Men... check the cave before entry.

Caught with her pants down and her cat on her chest... and dead.

CLICK HERE FOR THE FULL STORY

Wow, I guess it truly IS possible to die having sex. Or masturbating to porn for that matter. Poor thing, she must be so embarrassed. Oh wait, she's probably not since she's dead... And how about the cat? I like to think that if I died my cat Linus would give me CPR and not just sit on my chest. Also, I'd rather die having sex WITH someone rather than alone watching porn with a vibrator... I guess the lesson is this: MASTURBATE WITH A FRIEND.

Great, now I have to keep this in mind while I'm watching 4chan. And if you don't know what that is, don't find out. It's the bowels of the internet. Seriously.

Online dating. Yup, I caved.

I did it. I have finally had enough of the lame and somewhat seedy, STD-ridden bar scene of LA. I am now an 'online dater.' I feel like I should stand up in front of an AA meeting and say, "Hi, my name is Amber, and I'm new to online dating." The thing is, EVERYONE'S DOING IT. Seriously. I have to thank my friend Buckley for finally convincing me to peruse the innumerable amounts of online profiles in the hope of finding "true love." I still believe it's possible. Don't ask me how I still believe it, but god dammit, I do.

Maybe it's the new collective consciousness... getting all of the small talk and bullshit out of the way and actually representing yourself as a real person- being who you feel you are, and standing for the ideals you believe in. Maybe it's the new chapter in the history of my generation. Or maybe it's just a fad. Only time will tell... well, that and the success versus disaster probability equation.

Thus far, I have had the most amazing experiences from this online dating thingy. For the most part, people actually are who they say they are, and represent themselves truthfully. Weird, right?! The internet, a place of complete desirable autonomy, a place where you can lie your fucking face off and have others believe you, a web of the dark possibilities of the grotesque, and a breeding ground of socially deviant behavior. Guess what? Your parents are wrong. The internet is becoming a vast tool for the masses, and incredible place of truth and discovery, a place of freedom and expression. It amazes me more every day. Well, until I go out on a blind date that turns into disaster, but so far so good.

Just don't be overwhelmed by the inundating amount of dating sites available to the average person. I've heard rumors that Match.com is just a hookup sight for floosies of both sexes... Eharmony.com is for ugly people... Craigslist.org is for the lonely loser, etc... who knows if any of this is true. My most recent discovery is OkCupid.com. It's like the google of online dating, and it's totally free. AND people are real and good looking! How is this possible? How did we all find each other? Word of mouth, people, word of mouth. OkCupid.com doesn't need to advertise. They just are... like moths to the flame, like attracts like. And I have been impressed by the vast amount of seemingly normal, down to earth, beautiful people I have stalked via profile views online. Haha... kidding. I'm never one to stalk.. that's just creepy.. especially since there is no voyeuristic mystery to OkCupid.com, it's all out there for everyone to see. Damn straight, that's how it should be.

All in all, I am embarking on a new adventure... so far, so good! And no, I will NOT tell you my profile name.

Enter Sandman... 94.7 The Wave steeze.

ahhh the smooth jazz version of Metallica's "Enter Sandman"....

If you like amazing voices...

Then you'll like this chick.... http://www.myspace.com/whitton

Billie Holiday rolled into Regina Spektor and baked at 350 degrees in a Norah Jones oven... americana goodness... banjos and the like.